“Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.”” Exodus 4:11-12
While this week has been a slower one, God has still been active in me and this team. Specifically this week, as we learned about David and his attitude towards God, he has really shown me and convicted me of my weakness and desperate need for him. He has shown me my emptiness without him. He has shown me my need to be broken.
But what does being broken mean? For David it was a mixture of 3 things: (1) Solitude with God, (2) A heart of selfless service, (3) And an understanding of being weak. Like I said, for me this week, the 3rd of these has really been impressed upon my heart. I have really seen explicitly a need for God in my life, especially as I’m challenged with trials I’ve never undergone before. And because of this, it is driving me back to the other 2, especially the 1st one, of taking time in solitude with God. In the states it’s so hard to find a quiet place, not just a place without a lot of sound, but also without a lot of distractions or temptations to put your attention on something else. But here, without phones for most of the week and with a daily habit of seeking God in his word, I have experienced some of the sweetest moments of solitude with God. I remember at 1 point this week, (I believe it was Wednesday night) after watching a movie called “I Can Only Imagine”, I sought some quiet time with God. I silently climbed onto our tin roof, laid down, and just simply cried out to the Lord. I cried out for my sin, for my weakness, my inconsistency, I begged God for forgiveness. I prayed to be worthy of his plan, & for a humble heart that would follow him in whatever way he leads. I prayed to be able to serve. When we have more time alone with ourselves and before God, we realize how wretched of a person we are. But thankfully if we are abiding in him obediently, that only drives us closer to the cross, as we see the love that Jesus had for us. Oh, what a love our savior has for us. That while we were still sinners, he died for us. As we see this love more and more, and consistently realize we can’t do it on our own, we are left in a place where we have to trust God. He is the only way we can win the war, not just little battles here and there. He is here for us, we are needy, he is good to save.
Some other highlights from this week were;
-Going to a little pool with the team on Monday and doing chicken fights, cross the ocean, signs, and marco polo
-Lake night roof talks with God
-Hearing more life stories
-Another morning run and sunrise
-Murder ministry nights
-Tossing a frisbee around with people on campus, and on the team
-A second sermon
-More ministry weekends
-Prepping for a youth event/being a part of the band
-Watching a member of the team eat a waffle for the first time
-And off a dare eating a cooked maggot (It tasted like nothingness)
Another big thing that happened this week was the reveal of the possible places we can choose for our 5-half month deployments. Right now, since the 3 boys are already a guaranteed team, the two places were talking about is Thailand and Indonesia. We still have a few weeks to decide so still just praying about it and lifting it up to God, but hoping to find some clarity as I seek the next step of my growing process amidst missions.
Along those lines of prayer, some other prayer requests for this week are;
- For everyone on the team to have clarity as they make up their mind on where they’re going
- For physical health to be improved
- For ministry to continue strongly
- For me to trust God and to continue to maintain a broken heart
Some praise for this week is that, after much prayer, 5 out of 6 short term team members have decided to stay for the whole year! So excited to see how God works in them in this longer term of missions and enjoy their awesome company a little longer.
I feel like I’ve gone a little short this week, but hopefully there will be more to tell next week as I continue to undergo the transformation of missions, and learn to love and serve the nations like Jesus did. Till next time!
